What is Mutual Submission?

Ephesians 4:25 - Therefore, having put away falsehood, let each one of you speak the truth with his neighbor, for we are members one of another.

In a recent exhortation, I offered some principles for giving and receiving advice from your brothers and sisters at TRC. Not only does this practice help us to build up our muscles in terms of serving and loving one another, but it also offers us ample opportunity to repent of our pride and easy offense.

Underlying this practice is the concept of mutual submission (Ephesians 5:21). This is a type of submission that is different from hierarchical submission - where submission is required of those who are under leadership - whether a husband, parent, boss, teacher, or some other authority. In this scenario, you are choosing to submit yourself to someone who is not necessarily in an authoritative position over you.

If you think about it, mutual submission happens all the time. Every time you have a conversation, you are practicing mutual submission. When someone is talking to you, and assuming that you are not being rude and taking over them, then you are listening… which means you are submitting yourself to that other person. We do this voluntarily all the time - every time we turn on the television, turn on the radio, or turn on a podcast, we are submitting ourselves to the one who is speaking (or singing).

This principle will serve us well if we consider its implications when we give or receive advice. When someone shuts their mouth to listen to your advice, you should feel the weight of this moment - they are submitting to you - not necessarily because you have hierarchical authority over them, but because you care enough to speak into their lives. There is a responsibility there that should not be neglected or shrugged off; you do not deserve that submission, but they are freely giving it to you… so offer your advice out of love… and as I said in the exhortation, be prepared to get your hands dirty if need be.

And on the receiving side of the equation, remember that if you are able to voluntarily submit to a peer by listening to their advice, then you can also receive that advice in love and with full appreciation of what their intentions are, rather than assuming ulterior motives or being easily offended. This is hard to do, but is one of the ways that a church body lives out the principles found in Romans 12:9-21… and when the church lives this way, in mutual submission to one another, it displays the light of Jesus Christ to the world, by maintaining the unity of the Spirit in the bond of peace (Ephesians 4:3).

Brian McLain is Associate Pastor at Trinity Reformed Church. He has degrees in Theology and Electrical Engineering and is a graduate of the Fellows Program at Theopolis Institute. He is married to Denise and they have six daughters.