Introduction

People pleasing is a view of life conducted on the assumption that receiving the approval of people is the real thing and the approval of God is the counterfeit thing. The people pleaser's goal isn’t just to please people but to win their favor and earn their blessing, even if it costs them the favor and blessing of God. This is where people pleasing and flattery connect. Each has a certain effect produced intentionally and almost inevitably by the avoidance of anything that could be distinctive of any creed or principle. Appeasers offer an intermediate accommodation to all winds of the world, which reveal a hollow heart and empty chest.

The first problem with people pleasing is that it avoids, abandons, or alters conviction. It’s not only a loss of perception, but of principle. Out of fear of man, the people-pleaser practices a reactionary reversal that systematically smashes his view. Previously, God was worthy of obedience. Now, someone else is worthy. It is a failure to make a distinction between the one who can kill the body and the one who can kill the soul (Mt. 10:28). The person who has lost his compass cannot navigate boldly. He can only drift, which means the strongest wind blows him.

This leads to the second problem of people-pleasing. Having lost his moral compass, the people-pleaser possesses no real conviction, only a performance that caricatures courage. Courage has extraordinary vitality and vivacity. It is an undiminished willingness to act upon your convictions. People pleasing distorts courage because when life gets hard, the pressures come fast. You’re always dealing with something; always struggling with particular difficulties or demanding people. People pleasing offers a tempting shortcut: just give people what they want and make the pressure go away. But this isn’t courage, it’s a cowardice dressed up as pragmatism.

And so it is that appeasement creates a colorless person, someone who is influenced by puny and pedantic things rather than their biblical convictions. Even intelligent and idealistic people can be tempted to justify their people pleasing with the notion that accommodation is not only permissible but a very fine thing in its own way, because of the liveliness of the moment. But there is nothing artistic or appropriate about being wrought by the fear of man. It’s an action as bare as the sky and as inhuman as the wilderness, void of courage and conviction. Perhaps the most practical and successful effect of people pleasing is that, for a moment, the village bully regards you as an enlightened comrade.

Peter Denies Jesus

People pleasing is a wretched curse and the cause of regretful disobedience. Peter knew this well, starting with his thrice-denial of Jesus. Here you have Peter. Brash. Bold. Built like a rock. When trouble comes, his instinct is to pull a sword and cut off the right ear of Malchus, a servant of the High Priest (Jn. 18:10-11). Peter has witnessed Jesus’ teaching with authority, miracles with power, and transfiguration into glory. Peter loves Jesus, believes in Jesus, and follows Jesus. He confesses that Jesus is the Messiah (Mt. 16:13-20). Yet, even impetuous Peter elevates people so that he fears them more than God.

When the religious leaders come to arrest Jesus, the sheep scatter (Mk. 14:27). Jesus predicted Judas' betrayal (Mk. 14:20). He also predicted Peter’s denial (Mk. 14:27, 30). Peter vigorously protests that he will never deny Christ (Mk. 14:31). But Peter does deny Christ. He is afraid to confess Jesus publicly. He is intimidated by a servant girl (Mk. 14:66), who asks Peter if he was with Jesus. Peter tries to evade the question by claiming ignorance. Then the charges and denials escalate. Peter “denied” being with Jesus (Mk. 14:68). This is in the aorist perfect tense, meaning he “kept on denying.” Peter progresses from playing ignorant of Christ (Mk. 14:68), to outright denying Christ (Mk. 14:70), to swearing a curse upon himself to repudiate any association with Jesus (Mk. 14:71).

Peter’s people pleasing is the greatest failure of the disciples (besides Judas), recorded in the New Testament. It is recorded in all four gospels. When Peter hears the rooster crow the second time, he weeps tears of sorrow and repentance. Why did Peter deny Jesus? He was caught up in the crowd contagion. He sits with the guards (Mk. 14:52). He chats with the servants (Mk. 14:66-72). He communes with the crowds around the fire. They notice he is a Galilean. He has a different accent and is recognized as one of Jesus’ followers (Mk. 14:67), but in obedience to his new communal order gathered around the fire, Peter denies Jesus.

Today, people call this peer pressure, which, in its worst form, is people pleasing. Peter went from exuberant faith to denial. He had insisted that even if all fell away, he would not. Even if he must die for Christ, he would not deny him. The intensity of Peter’s affirmation of loyalty only serves to make his failure all the greater. When the heat of the fire hits his face, he emphatically denies Jesus with just as much fervor as he emphatically pledged loyalty to Jesus.

People pleasing pressures you to compromise your loves, your beliefs, and your Lord. Your first principles evaporate, your allegiances dissipate, and your obedience shifts. The Pharisees were people pleasers, doing righteous acts to be seen by others rather than out of genuine devotion to God (Mt. 23:5-7). Pontius Pilate was a people pleaser, giving into the crowd’s demands to crucify Jesus so as not to lose favor with the people and Caesar (Mark 15; Lk. 23). King Saul was a people pleaser when he disobeyed God’s commands because he was afraid of the people and gave into them (1 Sam. 15:24). Aaron was a people pleaser who gave into the Israelites’ demands and made the golden calf (Ex. 32). And Peter, despite his faith, despite his gifts, despite his role, had one more high profile occasion of people pleasing when he withdrew from eating with Gentile Christians because he feared criticism from the circumcision group.

Peter Appeases the Circumcision Group

Late is his life, Peter had another high-profile episode of pandering, this time regarding the issue of table fellowship with Jews and Gentiles. In Antioch, Peter mingled with the Jews and Gentiles, eating with them both. But, when “certain men came from James,” Peter “drew back and separated himself” from the Gentiles. Why? Because he feared “the circumcision party” (Gal. 2:12). So, James sent some messengers to Peter. What was the message? It’s hard to know exactly, but the message may have been a warning about the persecution the “circumcision party” was carrying out against the Christians in Jerusalem. Peter feared the circumcision party (Gal. 2:12). What did he fear? The passage doesn’t say explicitly, but we can guess.

The persecution of Christians in Jerusalem was increasing. The non-Christian Jews (i.e., the “circumcision party”) were persecuting the Christian Jews. It’s possible that reports of Peter—the rock, the leader, the apostle—eating with Gentiles got back to Jerusalem and fed into the persecution mentality of the non-Christian Jews. Peter, wanting to alleviate the persecution, fearing what the “circumcision party” is going to do to the Jerusalem Christians, starts eating exclusively with the Jews.

Peter’s desire to please the circumcision party leads to a change in his dining habits. Peter knows the Gentiles are included in the gospel. It was Peter, after all, who received the remarkable vision in Acts 10 that revealed the place of the Gentiles in the Kingdom of God. But, because Peter is afraid of what Jews back in Jerusalem think, he separates from his Gentile brothers and sisters and reverts to the Jewish custom. Peter’s accommodating spirit even led Barnabas astray (Gal. 2:13).

Conclusion

After not one, but two public humiliations, Peter learned his lesson: it is better to fear God rather than man. Peter shares his hard-earned wisdom, “But even if you should suffer for righteousness' sake, you will be blessed. Have no fear of them, nor be troubled, 15 but in your hearts honor Christ the Lord as holy” (1 Pt. 3:14-15a). In other words, don’t fear people. Fear the Lord. Don’t seek to please people. Seek to please Christ the Lord.

The threat of people pleasing requires self-examination (2 Cor. 13:5). Are you trying to win the approval of human beings, or of God (Gal. 1:10)? Are you trying to please people, or God, who tests your heart (1 Thess. 2:4)? Are you working with all your heart unto the Lord, or for human masters (Col. 3:23)? Are you failing to openly acknowledge your faith in Christ out of fear of losing human praise (Jn. 12:42f)? Will you fear man and enter the snare, or will you trust the Lord and be kept safe (Prov. 29:25)? Will you, like Peter, learn the value in obeying God rather than human beings (Acts 5:29)?

Jason Cherry is an elder at Trinity Reformed Church in Huntsville, Alabama, as well as a teacher and lecturer of literature, history, and economics at Providence Classical School in Huntsville. He graduated from Reformed Theological Seminary with an MA in Religion and is the author of the books The Culture of Conversionism and the History of the Altar Call and The Making of Evangelical Spirituality.